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Instead, Coles advises asking a different question: Is this someone I want to see again?
This will ensure you’re setting realistic expectations for yourself and for your dates. If you learn one thing from her book, Coles wants it to be this: Use digital dating to challenge yourself and put yourself out there — and make sure to have fun doing it.“We spend so much time on our devices and behind our computers, that it's easy to become isolated.
Traditional (offline) daters, or those just getting back in the game (albeit in a vastly different landscape) may be happy to hear that her biggest takeaway is a bit “old school:” Take the relationship offline as soon as possible.“Online dating is a bit like Costco, there's an enormous range of options.
You have to look for the fresh produce aisle,” says Coles.
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When conducting the research for the book, Coles was most surprised to see a central theme crop up: people were keeping their communication online for a long time before meeting in real life. While they are brilliant tools to meet new people, digital exchanges shouldn’t be used as a means to determine if someone is relationship material.“The key thing to inject the real person into it is get offline.
“People will have texty, flirty exchanges without actually talking on the phone or meeting in real life. Figure out whether or not this person is someone you actually want to meet in real life,” she says. And my strongest piece of advice is do not waste your time in a lengthy text, flirty exchange with someone, which people often do, because it may turn out that you are connecting with someone online, and you have nothing in common at all.”The League, a popular dating app among millennials, recently conducted a study of 20,000 users about their dating habits and found that the average first date is 55 minutes long. But do something, so that you have something in common to talk about.And it's easy to become a voyeur on other people's lives, and become less of a participant in your own life,” says Coles. And if you have a bigger life there'll be more people in it.“What the book really encourages people to do is to get up and put your devices down, and get out there and have fun and connect with people. And you'll have more people to share with.”NEXT: How to use sexting to improve your marriage Want more tips like these?Pick your future partner based on their dog preferences, small, scruffy or otherwise.Pros: Just think of all the cute dog meme sharing that could be yours.You just have to use them carefully.” So before you begin liking, swiping and private messaging, it’s crucial to learn the rules of the road, so you can successfully make meaningful connections in the digital landscape.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating